What's Inside My Blackberry?

It's been a laid back day at work... so instead of texting -- I decided to scroll through my Blackberry to see what lies inside my "memopad."

Before I reveal what I found in my 'personal' memos, I just want to say that I love my Blackberry and I have a special relationship with it. I'm no Drake and I don't type up everything in my berry, but after reading what I uncovered -- I do take some random notes.

Here's a look: (This is what it reads in exact order - no editing.)

12493

17218 161st Ave. SE Renton, WA 98058

20 Pushups, Situps, Squats, Lunges, Side Leg Lifts

6:45 - 4 Carrot Slices, 6 Orange Slices, Half Of Raw Zuccinni

65557

9:30 - Drink, Salad, Tortilla Chips, Salsa, Salmon Tortilla, Ceviche

"All you have to do is desire it, and if you desire it enough and understand why and really know it, it will come." - The Lovely Bones

Title: Food
8:30am: 1/2 cup of oatmeal, 2 egg whites
10:45am: Planters Nutrition Bar 160 calories, 5g of Protein, 9g of sugar and 19g of carbs

"Nothing is ever perfect, it is what you make of it."

"See the glass as half empty so when the whole thing spills you aren't as devasted."

Smoothie: 7pm, Chips, Salsa, Guacamole: 9:30pm

"The minute you're afraid to ask for something is when you should do it. It's the questions in life not the answers that really count.

XL, 34

"You make your own happiness, that part of going for what you want means losing something else. And when stakes are high, the losses can be that much greater."

So, there you have it. A little taste of my Blackberry world. I don't know what those numbers mean anymore. I'm guessing they are passwords to something that was important at a certain time. And from the looks of my memos, I like to write down what I eat.

As for those quotes, sometimes when I'm reading a book and I see a great quote or line I will text it into my phone. I had a lot more, but my Blackberry crashed last year, so I had some rebuilding to do.

And I have no idea who's address that is.

Anyway, soon enough I will be saying goodbye to my Blackberry and hello to the iphone world. I will miss the Blackberry speaker and BBM. (That's Blackberry Messenger for all your non-blackberrians.) ;)

Dear....

It's a quarter after one A.M. and I should be sleeping. I have a 5k run in t-minus 7 hours but my eyes can't seem to stay shut and words are filling my brain. You ever do that? Lay in bed and think of what you are going to write and then you start creating sentences and think, "Man, that would be such a good blog." I do that all the time but this time I'm writing them down.

My mind is a little foggy and I actually feel sad at the moment. I just watched, "Dear John" and my eyes were never dry during the entire movie. Is it possible to feel that way towards another person to the point where you miss someone so much that it hurts? Love someone so much that you would write them letters for an entire year? Tell them all about your life through love letters? And after everything, expect them to wait for you?

I couldn't believe she married Tim, after she was so in love with John. Can loneliness get the best of you and make you do crazy things? I don't know if they ended up getting back together, but they were so crazy in love...I wanted them to be together. Call me a hopeless romantic--just seeing John's anticipation for her letters---and then the last letter where she broke up with him, I could feel his pain. Call me a baby, I don't care! I am sensitive and empathetic! I am a Cancer, what can I say? I cry when I'm happy-mad-sad-joyful... anything. I even cry when I see a cute puppy on television.

But Love? That's a whole other story. I haven't been in love for... years. I slightly remember the feeling of being on cloud 9 and everything was amazing. Time never mattered as long as I was in his presence and we were laughing, touching and kissing. Nothing annoyed me and those flaws were the things that I loved about him. The butterflies when I saw his name on my phone or when I saw him walk into a room. It felt like heaven with chocolate everywhere. But love can be blind. And after he broke my heart, I never felt that way since.

So there you have it. And to my future love... Here's my letter to you.

Dear Future Love,

I'm the woman who will love you forever. I'm simple and I don't like extravagant things. Surprise me any chance you get because keeping me on my toes will always make me smile. I'll cook for you and bake your favorite dessert. I'll walk around in sweats and a tee shirt because I'm comfortable. I will travel the world with you because I want to share adventures and create adventures together. I will stay up all night talking to you because I want to know everything about you. I will laugh at my own jokes so get used to it. I love to have company over and be the best hostess. I will take pictures of you because I can. I'll drink an ICEE with you on a cold day because we're crazy. There's so much more I could tell you, but just know that my love is true.

I can't wait to meet you.

Until Then.

Throwback

It's the website that no one really uses anymore: "Myspace." Today I signed onto my page and started reading my old blog entries. Man! I was a dedicated writer for a while. I must have lost it along the way, and now I'm back with bigger words, a bigger heart and a lot more knowledge.

Anyway, I came across this blog entry that really brought me back to "that" moment.

I'm calling it my "Throwback" entry or you could call it an "Oldie.... but goodie."

"Officially... Anytime"

Apologize. Sympathize. Improvize. Socialize. I'm locked in a disquise of a lover and a fighter.
Beautiful. You're Beautiful, Life is Beautiful. Brillant. Pure. Purity. Thoughts that can be see through my vision, thoughts that can be seen through my eyes.

Struggle. Hope. False Hope. Smile. One Smile, one tear. Raindrops. Ordinary. Extrodinary. Words that are said, but these words are taken for granted because no actions are there to make them REAL.

Time. Clock keeps on ticking. Time After Time. Time will tell, time leads us to the answer. Confusion. Patience. Emotions. I hate emotions, vulnerability, and love. I love ice cream on a cold day.

Hot Chocolate warms up my heart. I miss the late nite episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Waiting. Waiting to see the rainbow and find that pot full of gold at the end of it.

What's Wrong? What's Right? Two wrongs don't make a right, and what is right is always wrong.

Anytime? What is Meant to Be? Memories. Thoughts. Kisses. Laughter. Tears. Hugs. Scent. Lips. Smile. Heart Beat. Body warmth. Heart to heart. Hand to hand. Promises. Officially. Specifically. Loss. Love. Emptiness. Lonliness.

Do you keep them? Presence. Voice. Pictures. Frames.

Do I ever cross your mind anytime?

(Posted February 21, 2006)

Seattle VS. Hawaii

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." - Dennis P. Kimbro

Since I've moved back to the Emerald City, I have to say that I feel more like ME. Seattle is my home and who I am. I feel happy, more complete and more than anything more so back on my feet. Although I loved living in Hawaii with the culture, island life, the people, the beach, surf and amazing local grindz... Dorothy says it right, "there is no place like home."

After I was unemployed for six months, I moved to the islands of Oahu on a whim. I felt like I needed to get away from Seattle and grow, so within a weeks notice, I packed my bags and left. My cousin helped me land a job at a local news station working as an Assistant Producer. Although I majored in Broadcast News and Production (side note: and Women Studies) I hadn't worked in news in forever, since I previously worked for a local talk show in Seattle. I was fascinated with this new challenge and learning experience ahead of me and couldn't wait to dive in.

I started working on the morning show after a week of training. Waking up at 11 o'clock a night and working until 9 o'clock in the morning was a killer for me. Whoever told me, "I'd get used to it" was a liar! I felt like a zombie and my body hated me for eating at weird times and my lack of zz's. I was living the life as a semi-vampire and unfortunately without the beautiful Edward or Jacob popping into my window. I tried to live a normal life by going to the gym or beach after work but I was forever tired! The plus side: The amazing people I worked with. I learned so much from the morning anchors and fellow producers who trained me in the process. It's amazing how much you learn during those blood-shot eye hours, being the first to read what's happening around the world due to the time difference.

After three months, I moved to the dayside as an Assistant Producer for the 5,6, and 10 o'clock newscast. I was so relieved to go back to a normal life and do things in the evenings. My goal was to be promoted as a full-time News Producer and after months of working crazy hours, all holidays and sometimes 12 days straight, they promoted me! I was excited that I would finally have benefits and a higher pay. Even though I was excited, I felt like something was missing. I couldn't figure out what it was or what was wrong with me, but I wasn't fully happy. I just didn't feel right.

When I recieved my promotion I had lived in Hawaii for about 10 months. I saw my family once during the summer. I took a trip to Maui with my cousins. I owned my first surf board and I was preparing to run my first marathon! What a great life right? I mean, besides my horrible car accident that totaled my car and left me with disk injuries in my neck that I'm still dealing with to this day, life was good... or so that's what I kept trying to tell myself.

The day that I made my year mark in Hawaii on February 9th, 2010, I felt that I was ready to move back home. I missed my family, my friends and you can call me crazy, I missed the rain and cold! For the next couple months, I looked for jobs in Seattle and nothing really caught my eye. I told myself that although I wanted to move back because I missed my family, I would wait until I found a good enough job to support myself. I didn't want to put my family in that kind of situation if you know what I mean, I'm 25! God must have been listening to my prayers because sooner than later, I received an email from a former coworker about a job opening for a local production company.

I talked it over with my family and as always they were fully supportive of any decision I made. I quickly sent in my resume and to make a long story short, I moved back to Seattle on April 15, 2010 and started my new job on April 19th. Crazy right?

You can say that I act on impulse 90% of the time and the other 10% I let happen, but sometimes you just have to take the jump.

And in that year and four months in Hawaii, I learned more about myself in what I want, don't want, and what I need in my life.

*The TRUTH*

My first blog and I'm getting personal. That's what these things are all about right? Welcome to my rollercoaster ride. I promise it's not like this all the time. Just today. I had an eye opening experience today with the word "Truth." I learned that being honest can mean completely nothing to a person and telling a lie is just a part of who they are.

How disappointing to know that a person who meant so much to you at one time in your life-turned out to be a liar. Lied to you and lied about what you meant to them. I still don't understand in the point in lying? I mean, isn't the truth easier to say? With a lie, you have to think about it and everything all around it, including the consequences if the person finds out.

Don't get me wrong, I think everyone including myself has lied to someone before. It was easier to lie as a kid when my mom would ask me if I finished my homework when I really didn't, or a boy would call the house but I would tell her it was one of my girlfriends. Of course I faced the consequences and my mom would say to me, "Just tell the truth and I won't get mad."

But now, we're too old to lie. That's what I think. The truth will come out eventually and in the end you'll just look like a fool and a fake.

So do yourself and the people you care about a favor and just be honest.

And as for the truth. Yes, it hurts.